This is Me.

deep inside, i guess i knew i was just holding on to nothing.
im just holding on to you perhaps im scared of being lonely again.
im holding on so desperately you dont knw because u dont have time for me.
im not number one or close. im like somewhere down below the line after God.
so maybe it's just not meant to be.

i was thinking of the future. of us.
but i guess 2 yrs is enough.
enough of submission, enough of pacifying you when i upset you.
i don't knw why when im upset and then you get upset, it's my fault.
it's not my fucking fault right?
u're no more there for me. not even listening to my problems.
u're just giving out when im down.
i just need someone to listen.

if it's like this in marriage, i think that wld suck.
i've always been there for you.
and u've been there for me when you can.
i guess we're both wearing out and it'll be time to go.

Wilson/Vincent's send-off



3D2N chalet




Mambo!




Okay, that's enough for now!

Ive changed my layout cos it's a new year!!!!!!
and this new layout is pretty awesome.. quite nature-y and GREEN! :D
so im not complaining (:

well.. school has started.. im over the down cycle in dec 09.
FAREWELL & GOOD RIDDANCE!!

which reminds me, i shld meet up with mrs low.. i really miss her..
it's been like 5 yrs since i left sec sch.. and i only met her for a short while last year. haiz..

OK!!! a new year (:

back to sch ytd..
lessons started at 830am OMG.. which ended a bit before 1130am and had only fruits for lunch cos sara n i weren't so hungry..
had employment relations at 12pm and ended at 2pm la!!! omg.. cos he didn't wanna teach us anything as it's our first lect..
aft that, went to Taka to get my stuff frm peoplesearch for APEC..
omg, got a laptop bag, BUT NO LAPTOP!! hahaha.. met dave (one of the ICs in Changi Airport) then talked for a while and left..
mama called when i wanted to walk arnd taka and shop for a while.. haiz..

went down to j8 and bought some foodstuff :DDDD
had yakitori with rice and the deep fried chicken for lunch.. at like 4++ hahaha..

anw, back to printing notes.. im so lazy cos the printer doesn't print 2-sided..
so, i totally feel like going to school, use a cashcard to pay for all the printing.. haiz!!!! but i guess it'll be crowded cos sch just started..

oh yeah! billy's starting sch at SIM!! he's in UB.. so might see him arnd.. YAYS!!

slept quite late last night, and the printer died on me :(((
didn't send the sis to work today and i slept till 11am.. OMG!!!
i was so shocked.. anw, her frame that i got pple to sign and all for her dropped in d middle of the night..
haiz.. we all woke up, even snowie..

lesson later at 330.. damn, have to read the tb..

okies, going to print notes now..

TATA~~

( because it's never too late to reflect on the year before )

if i'd known sooner, i'd never be bothered with the stupid dhl package.
anw, i guess that's just me. stressing myself out over nothing.

ytd, back at work, kelvin said "if they have any problem, then let them call me" cos according to him, the packages are in China, so their territory. don't care.
hahahaha, i don't knw why i don't have this "don't care" attitude.
HAIZ..

anw, sch starts TOMORROW!! :D
im excited!!!!
but im sad that justin won't have the same classes as me :((((

decided not to perm my hair in the end.
too costly, and don't knw where to go. omg.

anw, when i feel like it, i'll do a thankful 2009
hahahahaha..

so, it's back to sch tmr!
gosh, i have so much things to bring..
selling books and what nots. lols!!!!

TATA!

It's strange that I'm starting this year with a post about the last especially when I firmly believe that the past should always be left behind and not re-visited but because the pictures were up only recently and I have some OCD about not posting recent things before I finish talking about past events, here goes: 

Remember the post about christmas (just one post before the new year one):

Where we began with a feast that made us so full, we could hardly move but could still camwhore. And where I was first introduced to this novel concept of ham and jam-


Then we played Taboo where we split into two groups TEAM IJ vs  TEAM SJI





This was followed by Twister which was played by TEAM SJI while we, IJ girls, directed them





Then we had that fantastic ride down to Dempsey where we camwhored again in all permutations and combinations. No kidding, this is going to be under cut because I'll be flooding everyone's friends page with all the permutations and combinations.


( camwhoring in all permutations and combinations )

And, we're officially done with 2009.

So maybe I'm a little too lazy to move on to a new space because I hate the hassel of shifting entries and templates from one place to another which means I'm still stuck here but of course, things are no longer the same. Situations have changed. While this LJ started off as a place for me to keep A LOT of my secrets locked (literally) I think now it serves to lock them behind me. One day I'll look at those entries in amusement or even dis-amusement and laugh at my own foolishness. I can't say the year's ending the same way it started - but -

So moving on - here are some pictures from new year's eve random activities which caused us to start out wayyy to early in the morning but started off way to late because when we reached the marina barrage at around 12pm, we realised it was supposed to be closed. Went ahead with our plans nevertheless and successfully sent a kite flying up in the sky (okay, team SJI did it successfully while team IJ was stuck with a stupid little kite that was so difficult to fly).

Then we made this random decision to go prawning after (even though I don't eat prawns and I hate seeing the poor prawns struggle to their deaths) where we had an awesome lunch of satay and chicken wings. James joined us somewhere in-between. Moses managed to catch two prawns but one escaped. So Songyao actually bargained for more prawns which we took to Ali's house but did not eat. Headed off to a park nearby for MORE kite flying and slacking about the playground. I like spontaneous activities.


By the time I got to my aunt's house for dinner, I was dead tired and was in a daze during the few games of bridge which I played with my cousin and sisters. I still am tired but I wanted to write my year end/ start of the year post.

I couldn't imagine for myself how much can change within a year; how people you never knew just slide into your life when you need them the most and people you've always wanted to keep close seem to wriggle out. And because change is always inevitable you move on. I can't say I really liked this year despite all the fantastic things that happened, it's probably one of the worst years in my life.  But what doesn't kill you makes you stronger I can really say I am.

So if I had to sum up this year in a word I'd say - liberation.

And really, I need to thank all of you who have been with me up to now. I know I'm not the easiest person around.

Hello 2010 - the year where I really really need to pull up my CAP. No one will understand my desperation now.

maybe i haven't been updating much so today, im just going to SPAM like nobody's business. lols.

just got back frm j8 and i bought a Canon 500D DSLR :DDDDDD
am very happy..
met seb and sis on tues night to look for canon at amk MS Colour but no luck.
then seb said that j8 having camera fair so i took a look on wed..
canon 500d out of stock but it'll take abt 2 wks to come.

came back again today to PURCHASE IT :DDDD
because last night, before shir's concert, met seb and went down to cathay photo at peninsular plaza to find out that there's no canon 500D.
HAIZ..

so im happy!!!! didn't get 2 8GB memory cards, but i just bought one on ebay for like 20$ and when i asked for another one just now, the guy say will charge 1299$ instead of 1199$.. 100$ for an 8GB card? VERY BIG DIFF OF 80$ can.. omt..

anw, got all the accessories, need to scout for a drybox/cabinet frm carrefour then wait patiently for the camera (:

i am a happy girl.

also because i met someone special every single day since mon (:

i just found out that at the APEC appreciation dinner, they gave out the certs and momentos..
oh no! and i didn't go.. but i found pics!!!!

( to keep it short. )

will type out all the bad/ annoying things that have happened and the past few days saw me in a bad light.
a looming black cloud over my head and sucking out my happiness.
i missed christmas this year.
i couldn't find the spirit anymore.

there's something different about this year.
or since i graduated from jc as it seems.
as soon as i feel the spirit, it gets ripped off my soul.

i don't feel as though 2009 is ending.
i just feel, great, the year's ending, im going back to school.
imagine that, I AM GOING BACK TO SCHOOL brings me joy..

( here the rant starts. )

buttttt,

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!! :D

hope that u guys had a fantabulous time, COS I DID!! :D

anw, got this off a blog i saw....

I confess that in 2009, I have....

( ) stayed single for the whole year
(x) made out in/on a car
( ) kissed in the snow
( ) celebrated Halloween
(x) kissed in the rain
(x) had your heart broken
( ) broke someone else’s heart
( ) had a stalker
(x) went over the minutes on your cell phone
(x) had a good relationship with someone
( ) someone questioned your sexual orientation
( ) gotten pregnant
( ) had an abortion
(x) had a relationship with someone you’ll never forget
(x) done something you’ve regretted
( ) lost faith in love
( ) kissed under a mistletoe 

OTHERS
(x) painted (DREW) a picture
( ) wrote a poem
( ) ran a mile
( ) shopped at Hollister or Abercrombie and Fitch
(x) posted a blog
(x) listened to music you couldn’t stand
( ) went to a sleepover
( ) went camping
( ) threw a surprise party
(x) laughed till you cried
(x) laughed till you peed in your pants
( ) visited a foreign country
( ) cut in a line of waiting people
(x) told someone you were busy when you weren’t
( ) partied to celebrate the new year
( ) cooked a disastrous meal
(x) lost something/someone important to you

In 2009 I…
(x) broke a promise
(x) lied
( ) went behind your parents’ back
(x) cried over a broken heart
(x) disappointed someone close
(x) hid a secret
(x) pretended to be happy
( )slept under the stars
( ) kept your New Year’s resolution
(x) forgot your New Year’s resolution
(x) met someone who changed your life
( ) met one of your idols
(x) changed your outlook on life
(x) sat home all day doing nothing
( ) pretended to be sick
( ) left the country
( ) almost died
( ) given up something important to you
( ) lost something expensive
( ) learned something new about yourself
( ) tried something you normally wouldn’t try and liked it
(x) made a change in your life
(x) found out who your true friends were
(x) met great people
( ) stayed up till sunrise
(x) cried over the silliest thing
( ) was never home on weekends
(x) got into a car accident
(x) had friends who were drifting away from you
( ) had someone close to you die
( ) had a high cell phone bill
(x) spent most of your money on food
( ) had a fist fight
(x) went to the beach with your best friend
( ) saw a celebrity
(x) gotten sick
( ) liked more than 5 people at the same time
(x) became closer with a lot of people

______________________________________________________________________________

haiz.. im really bored.
i have to go back to work on the 4th jan for like, 4hrs? big SIGH.
im happy.
i had a nice christmas.
i admit i had sour moods but im fine in the end.
hahaha.
so bite me.

 I think I'm usually easy-going and obliging. Not a least bit mahfan:D